it’s more of a lifebattle right now…

it’s more of a lifebattle right now…

fitbattle or lifebattle?

My last post was just over four weeks ago and I wrote about how a broken heart may result in weight loss. I’ve decided that I don’t want that post to be the first thing someone/anyone sees when they stumble upon my blog in 2011. So here I go…a new blog entry. Unfortunately the theme is still tied to or related to my broken heart (well maybe that’s a little extreme, let’s call it a breakup).

As a result of my breakup I haven’t been that motivated to blog or do much of anything honestly. The good news is that I’m feeling much, much better now (well except for the relapses that I suffer from now and then, but overall I’m better). When I wrote my last blog my emotions were raw so for those of you who read that post I’m sure you were feel’n for me. It was very sad!

I’ve spent a lot of time reflecting on my lost friendship (relationship) the last several weeks. I’ve also spent a lot of time thinking about my life overall and what I want…what I’m grateful for, what’s missing, what’s changed, and what’s next. I miss my friend (let’s call him MisterX)…but he could not give me what I need from a partner. And like all of those dating advice books tell you…if a guy is really into you (and he’s the one) he’ll do anything to keep you (or not lose you). I’ve had to accept that MisterX was not the one although I did have big hopes for him.

I received several blessings as a result of MisterX being a part of my life for the last several months and those blessings are what I will hold onto as I struggle let him go. And believe me it has been a struggle. I know my friends and family are ready for me to move on and I’m ready too. The challenge is how do you (I) move on?

All of this reflection has made me realize that I’ve found myself in a bigger battle lately…a lifebattle and it has distracted me from my fitbattle. This is not necessarily a bad thing…I believe everything happens for a reason (well that’s what I tell myself so I’ll feel better and usually it works out to be true). There is no doubt, however, that I need to bring 2010 to an emotional close and focus on the new beginning that the welcoming of 2011 brings.

In case you are wondering…that little bit of weight loss I initially had immediately after the breakup did not last. The holidays didn’t help…neither has my frame of mind. I have no regrets. Life’s challenges are how we grow, learn, progress. The last month has provided me some serious growth.

There’s a small whole in my heart waiting to be filled with something or someone new. As I put 2010 behind me and focus on the hope and opportunity that 2011 offers I am committed to approaching my lifebattle with more energy, greater focus, and a renewed passion. I don’t usually declare New Year’s resolutions but I think I will give some thought to what I want to accomplish in 2011 and who knows maybe I’ll even write down a few goals too.

I know what I need to do even if my heart isn’t cooperating. I’m gonna get back to my routine, get my twofers in, watch my nutrition, and get my head back into the battle. Thankfully my fitbattle has provided me with a foundation for the lifebattle I’ve found myself in lately. I have a lot of work to do to get back to where I was in mid-October…hmm that sounds like a goal. There you go…my first goal and it didn’t even hurt. I’m on my way to a 2011 filled with hope and opportunity!

Happy New Year! Kathi