I once was lost, but now am found.
I couldn’t remember where I knew this line from so I googled it. It sums up how I feel right now…“found”. The line is from the song “Amazing Grace”.
This is the last time I’m going to write about “the break up”. I feel it’s important to bring some closure to the subject since it did significantly impact my fitbattle. It knocked me off course and as a result I found myself in a lifebattle trying to find my way back to me (for the lack of a better explanation).
I’m sure most of you understand what I mean if you’ve been jolted by a significant loss…something you didn’t see coming or simply were not prepared to deal with. It is a part of life and the only way to the other side is through it. All those damn cliches are right but they did not help me.
I had to take this part of my lifebattle journey on my own terms and at my own pace. I did have the love and support of my friends and family and I am grateful for each of you!
The good news… I feel much better now. I was afraid to say it out loud for a little while in fear of a relapse, but I’ve felt better long enough now that I think it’s safe to say so. And I hope my friends and family would agree if you’ve spent any time with me during the last week.
I’m not sure what exactly got me here… Maybe it was… time (you know that they say about time). Maybe it was my friends and family showing and telling me how much they love and appreciate me. Maybe it was the supplements (happy pills – herbal ones) I added to my daily vitamin routine. Maybe it’s the rituals I celebrated at the Lunar and Solar eclipses. Maybe it’s all that extra praying (and talking to God) that I did. Maybe it’s just human nature. Or maybe it’s all of the above.
I’m not sure it matters. What does matter is I feel great!! I’m back to my happy go lucky self…my positive outlook is back. I no longer feel like I’m under a gloomy sky. And now I can get rid of the 5-6 lbs that I gained during my lifebattle. It‘s “game on”!
We all face our own challenges and obstacles that knock us off course. Sometimes it’s just a bad day at work and other times it’s something bigger that consumes weeks or months (almost two months for me). That’s life.
What is most important is how you handle the set backs and what you learn from them. I learned that I have a very strong support system of people who love me. I was reminded that a good workout can make you feel a lot better (at least temporarily). And I learned that with some of life’s curve balls you just have to feel what you are feeling, not be to hard on yourself, and let time do it’s thing.
Okay… OKAY! That’s it! No more referring to “the break up” or the “broken heart”. Although I must warn you I have decided to put myself on the market for a new man-friend which I’m sure will result in some ups and downs. I’m in search of Mr. Right. Cross your fingers that I find him. (And yes a great idea for a new blog.) Kathi
Here are the lyrics to Amazing Grace… in case you are interested.
Amazing grace! (how sweet the sound)
That sav’d a wretch like me!
I once was lost, but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.
‘Twas grace that taught my heart to fear,
And grace my fears reliev’d;
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believ’d!
Thro’ many dangers, toils, and snares,
I have already come;
‘Tis grace hath brought me safe thus far,
And grace will lead me home.
The Lord has promis’d good to me,
His word my hope secures;
He will my shield and portion be
As long as life endures.
Yes, when this flesh and heart shall fail,
And mortal life shall cease;
I shall possess, within the veil,
A life of joy and peace.
The earth shall soon dissolve like snow,
The sun forbear to shine;
But God, who call’d me here below,
Will be forever mine.
John Newton, Olney Hymns, 1779